The other day I realized I was truly healing.
Because 2025 had been an extremely difficult year.
I know I am healing because I honestly felt pretty positive about this year overall, even though reflecting back I realize so many things didn't work out.
Rejection is divine protection.
Even when the thing I was hoping for didn't arrive, I still had faith & knew there was space clearing for something better to come in.
That's the art of alchemy. Things going 'negative' makes more space for attracting the positive.
In 2025, I took chances, collaborated, hosted events, trial and errored, some things worked, and some things didn't.
I got lessons that showed me where I need to better advocate for myself, to speak my needs, and to set boundaries when I find myself in situations where I am sacrificing my self for the comfort of others.
In the year of the Snake, the 9 year in numerology, a year of completion, the Hermit.
The alchemy came in, revealed and cleared out the ways I was still silencing myself.
Going into this year, I really wanted to start creating community. I had the desire to come up to teach classes, again and again. I felt Root pressure to promote myself on social media. Pressure, pressure, pressure to please and keep others interested. Not-self Ego desires to feel worthy, seen, and heard.
All the while, my Solar Plexus got stronger than ever, and more rooted in my emotional power as I connected more with my design's authority, and finally allowing my emotional strength and truth to be revealed.
The Channel of Synthesis. (49-19)
The Tribal channel in breakdown. Breaking down of old tribal agreements.
And have they ever been breaking down, disappearing, and whatever is remaining is realigning entirely.
Relationships feel different, my energy feels different. My Solar Plexus and entire energy system (Solar Plexus is connected to nervous system) has revealed to me what I have the energy for, and what I do not.
And even though at the beginning of 2025, and the end of 2024, I was manifesting friendships. I was shown I actually have the energy for very few.
One part of my long-term history of self-sacrificing was living in denial of my energetic sensitivity. There's a lot that is revealed to me through actions, words, subtleties that others tend to miss.
Pairing that with history of trauma, betrayal and heightened emotional sensitivity, I had underestimated for myself how difficult this makes navigating relationships.
My partner is someone I have full emotional honesty with. However, with other people, I have held back in fear they would reject or abandon me if I share my intuitive and often complex inner-emotional world. This has made many connections throughout my life difficult, awkward and again, self-sacrificing/abandoning just in order to keep the peace.
Healing my nervous system and repairing my freeze & fawn trauma response is now one of my highest priorities, now, in the new year, and continuing forward into future.
Entering 2026, the year of the Horse, empowered Earth energy, the year in numerology 10 / 1 = A New Beginning.
The era of self-sacrificing is getting left behind me; I am moving forward in recognition and honoring of my gifts. I am leaving the sacrificing of my truth, my sensitivity and my intuitive gifts behind me.
I'm walking through a new door, leaving old-ways behind. Standing rooted in my true strength and truth.
Side note, I've also decided to long term step away from Instagram & Threads (which I have found to be toxic and unhealthy) and focusing on going deeper into my practices, my studies, going back to school, serving and supporting those who reach out and invite me to do so.
Thanks for being here, you can reach out and invite me here.
PS. I am really excited to share my new projects in the new year, including my work with Gaia, breathwork and more...!